Asian Day!!

06 May 2005,
Eagle Building -Kraft Foods,
East hanover.
12:00pm to 1:00 pm
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The advertisement was put up about 15days back and a glance at it had spread smile and i was eagerly waiting for it. But dumb as I am I only venture to ask my manager if Indian dress would be allowed on the day just two days before the event!! mmm.. as things were tight and heywire, as they usually are, he couldnt get a client approval !!! and so yesterday i went to office again in the same old drab western business casuals:(

at 12:00 PM the central waiting area went alive!! Few of the employees had come in their traditional dress and i was surely upset i wasnt one of them, but this low mood didnt linger long!! As soon as the events started i pulled out my camera and for the next one hr was transformed to world far away from the daily druggery!!

An 8th grade student, Danya, performed two Bharathnayatam dances. One - a lady fortuneteller singing praise of the land she hails from. The other a peacock dance. this was a beuty. In one of the steps she actually did exactly like a bird purning its feathers!!! A chinese dance with long veil was also done. this just took my breath away. the slow gentle delicate movements we so seductive and entralling .. it would be out of my ability to put down what i felt then in words. but yes i had one of the most beautiful experiance!!. A biscuit scientist who is also a professional singer and Kraft employee sang a very soul full english song!!!

Apart from this there were Oragami making, mahendi applying and ekabana arrangement sessions held. It was fun seeing the american's taking interest in Asian culture, being amazed by it and having great fun!! Over all a great Friday!!

A Date with H-D!!

April 16th 2005.
Sunny Day, Google for NYC events, glance, glance,glance. Hold on!!! trace back. glance, slowly. Wooohooo!! Cross check the date, April 16th, that is...mmmm....is it today?? yes. yes,yes,yes. check the time, check the time. 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM. Cool!!!Opps what time is it.. already9:30 AM, GOD!! why cant she check and plan the day before.. why is she lazy and doesnt get up early? -Shut-Up-!!! Stop cribbing and get ready!! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuunnnn!!!

NYC, 11:00 AM.
Should I walk to river side or take a bus?? I can walk but..forget it, let me take the bus.Take a window seat. -Daud--Daud--Daud--Daud--Daud--Daud-DDddddrrrrrrrr...... Wwwwwwwwwoooo..
...........bikes after bikes zoom past and i oggle at them with wide eyes, open mouth and heart fluttering at great speed!!! Here!! there!! Oh!!!WoW!! The queue had taken form of the never ending -hanuman's tail- 1:30 hrs of wait. completely entertained by the zooming bikes and bikers in line!!

Next 5 hrs of dedicated time to one of my -loves- of life. Me, my camera and those mean machines!! ah!! what bliss!! the bikers were Big, Loud, Funcky and amazyingly Friendly!! Chatted up with most of them. Few obliged to pose for me. Others were glad enough to make room for me to shoot the beauties.I was kind of thinking anyone one of them ( the most handsome by default) for a ride but then didnt do it.. one of my missed chances i guess.. mmm.. but yes before i head back i just wanna ride once, atleast just once on a HD!!!

For Desire

roots deep, branches wide;
facing storms, living drought!
holding in self, a single desire--
"to turn seed", stands tree.

Past Future

I walk the pathways searching. No destination, No maps yet no fear ! I seem to search, search for nothing. Me and myself walk and talk, share the silence. I enjoy it. Today I had to take my collegue to NYC. I did, but as always got lost nth time in the subway maze. spend more than an hour travelling a 10 mins route, finally took her to the grand central and Times Square. She seemed to enjoy every moment of all this. I am glad she did . But deep down I can see myself cribbing. Of what? I dont know. Of a lost day not doing what I wanted to, of not have visited the central park for the blooms on a sunnny day ( that to when she had given me free hand as to take her whereever I want).

I have done lot many things with friends which I may not have really high on and have enjoyed every bit of it. But now I seem to be growing selfish, always thinking of what I want to do, my time, my effort, my , my.. me.. me... I am glad I am able to do so many things I always wanted to do and dont have to compro on them but yet at the same time feel sad about this change that is going in me. Here I do not have my family and friends, so it makes no difference to others. But I fear what will happen when I meet my dear ones and they find me like this. Is this change a passing phase or will it change me forever? I dont know. I like my new self yet I dont want to loose my old self too. AM I being too greedy?? I dont know how I am going to turn to be tomorrow but I just pray that she doesnt hurt my loved ones.

A Dream

Nobody to smile at
- but myself
Nobody to hug tight
- but myself
Nobody to share a moment
- but myself
Nobody,
in the whole wide world,
Nobody,
in the realms of my mind,
Just me,
in the vast spread space
of nothingness.

I wanna be..

I dont wanna be -Successful-, neither -rich-, nor -famous-.
All I wanna be is -myself-.
I have had to fight for it from the very moment
the air kissed my lungs
and my cry echoed.
And the fight will continue till
my lungs omit every ounce of my last breath
and silence suffocates the cry.

-Spring-

At the slightest brush of warmth,
green fills the grass,
blooms unfurl on barren twigs
sky is splashed with birds.
Suddenly.
Nature has let out a long held breath.

It Rained!

A gloomy day. Hidden sun, Clouds gray, and the continous rip-tip-tip, rip-tip-tip. Body on fevour and spirit broken, lay still, covered, with no purpose to arise. Kittttttrrrrrrr... Kitttttttrrrr... Chitttt Chittt Chittt..Chip. Chip. Chip. The non-stop knocking at silence, breaks the curtains, opens the sleep. Dead soul draged out of rag, -Sigh-! A warm -SplaSh-. Mirrored Gaze. Tired smile, stretchs self.

Pour a cup. Stir a spoon. Three minutes. Zzzzooooooommmmm.... -TinG-. Hot liquid, cupped hands. ZrrrriC. Shutters Up.Deep Breath. Fresh, lungful, filling, air slowly sucked into self. Hold. Licked and lapped up by thristy blood. Carried to cell to cell, spilled free andin vigour. Collecting the used.Dumping the garbage. The anguish, pain,hurt, doubt, anger, slowly sweeped and blown out. Deep breath. In.Out.Fill.Throw.Rejunevate

.Let Go. Hug.Clean.Heal.Wash.Again and Again.

Rip-Tip-Tip, Kitttttttrrrrrrrrrr, Kittttttttttttrrr. Rip-Tip-Tip, Chittttt Chitttt Chitttt. Rip-Tip-Tip, Chip.Chip.
Eyes close. The body feels the ice cold rain drops pierce . Hurting it. Tearing it. Numbing it.Until the body, the rain drop are no more a different entity. Until the pain and the joy no more share a boundry. Until me and it no more are. The body dis-solves. Flows. A drop a time. An ice cold rain drop.

Central Park Celebrity!!

19th March 2005,
A Sunny Spring day after a long gloomy winter. I headed to NYC as usual. AT the Penn Station wandered lost, lost with no idea where to head next. Usually the pamplets and brochers I collect help me decide which corner of the city to explore that day. But today was different. It was -sunny- and I wanted to bake in his warmth. Finally I decided on the Central Park.

The feeling of free walk with no chill cold blowing against your body was itself an experiance. His shone bright yet was gentle in his touch. The birds seem to spark a racket everywhere. I was with no bino and no chanrged battery in my camera. I didnt worry much about it. It was a day to -live- thats all. I walked around listening , looking and taking in all that had been laid infront of me.

The whole of NYC seemed to be on the prowl !! Suddenly the sleeping gaint seemed to have woken up with new vigour and life !!! I got see the social life of NYC, the family life I should say. I smile shared, a hello exchanged, a moment of shared interest, all my heart dance with glee and exictment. I felt at home.

A walk around the reserviour gave me a chance to view few of the most beautiful water birds which I had grown up seeing in books and TV!! I was mighty excited. As I walked I came across a hoarding which talked about a person,Alberto Arroyo, who has for the last 60 years walked/jogged around the reserviour everyday. And has been a major force in its protection and development. When he completed 50 yrs of relation with the CP the NYC govt decided to honour him with a title 'Mayor of Central Park'. Pretty interesting I thought.

The reserviour is pretty big and huge and many people where walking, jogging, running already on the tracks and I joined them. I had decided to walk the complete circle but at times was tempted to diverge but aaahaaaaaannnn naaaa no way I was going to do that.. and guess what luckily since I stuck to I happened to come across the -Mayor of Cebtral Park-. I was... :) I talked to him, shot his pics and yes got his auto-graph tooo..

I believe people like him. Unknown faces, who stud your everyday make life so much beautiful. These are the people who are real celebratities of life. For they have known and won people's heart by just acknowleging the other's presence, sharing a smile, and yes living a moment together!!!

If- I- were to -die- today

I wonder ....
will the sunshine, whose warmth i long for, miss me??
will the stars, among whom I stroll on lonely nights, wait for my steps???
will the moon, whose kiss this face cherishes, search for its trace??
will the birds, whose laughter wakes me up, call for me??
will the wind, whose touch sketches goose-pimples, yearn for my body?
will they.....???
I wonder......
If -I- were to -die- today..........

-After-Hours-

Silence Envelops
--Deserted Corridor,
Hushed Voices
-- Machines Whisper.

Lonely Soul
On the floor,
Attempts to decipher
ZwwwoooooooZwwwoooo :
DrrrrrrDrrrrrDrrrrr...!!